Thinking of Africa...May 2014

Joining FaceBook in late April connected me with my second cousin (once removed), Ruth Barham Bell.  Ruth--born in Northern Rhodesia in 1941 and now living in Canada--and I discovered a mutual passion for family history!  I'd met Ruth's brother Ray and their mother Lois Frey Barham in Zambia (formerly Northern Rhodesia) in the early 1980s when I was working there with Zambia Nurses Christian Fellowship.  Ray was working as a third generation missionary teacher and linguist, along with his Canadian wife Terry.

My cousin Ruth serves tea to her friends in Northern Rhodesia in the 1940s…sweet reversal of the prevailing social practices at the time!

Hunting for sport was not typical among my missionary relatives, but this lion had been killing cattle belonging to Ruth's family and their African friends.  Ruth and her younger brother Ray are pictured with their father, Leslie Barham, Northern Rhodesia, mid-1940s

Ruth generously shared photos from her mother's album, such as those above.  Ruth's father Leslie Barham was a linguist, largely responsible for translating the Bible into the Bemba dialect; her mother was a teacher and master gardener.

I was especially delighted to receive several old photos of my great aunts and uncles, some of whom were pioneer missionaries in the Rhodesias.  I'd been researching and writing about them for many years, finding their stories--set in the context of the British colonial era--instructive and inspiring.  They erred at times, but also loved greatly.

From left:  my great aunt Naomi Lady, her son David, great-great uncle Harvey Frey, great-great uncle Lewis Steckley, Mabel Frey, great-great aunt Emma Frey, great-great aunt Elizabeth Engle Steckley, Arthur Climenhaga, Lois Frey, David Climenhaga, Mary Elizabeth Heisey, John Climenhaga, Emma Climenhaga, toddler Joel Climenhaga; Photo taken at Matopo Mission, Southern Rhodesia, 1924

1959 photo of my great uncle Jesse Lady and wife Lucille (left) with the Frey/Barham family (from right:  Ray, Leslie, Lois, Mabel, Ruth) in Bulawayo, Southern Rhodesia.

Much of the month of May 2014, which marked the end of our first year in Ecuador, was spent at my computer.  I completed the book on Haitian women Sally Lincoln (sallylincoln.com) and I had envisioned and submitted it to a publisher.  My cousin Ruth's research inspired to me keep working on the stories of my missionary relatives.  And I gave more thought to writing about my own time in Africa in the 1970s and 80s, a rich experience made even more so, in retrospect, through the illness and trauma that were part of my final months there.

Enjoying early moonrise (look left) from our Loja terrace

Mother's Day lunch on our terrace

 Journal entry:  May 31, 2014

Sleepless night…restless with upcoming travel plans, thinking about writing memoirs and about the course of my life.  Meditating on Psalm 119:  44-45:  "Thy statutes have been my songs in the house of my pilgrimage.  I remember thy name in the night, O Lord, and keep thy law." I think of the many houses of my pilgrimage (more than 30) and remember that the most important aspect of place is not the living, per se, but the loving that we do there!

Matthew 25...April 2014

By the month of April, closing in on a year of "semi-retirement," I'd had time to reflect on what to do with the rest of my life.  An April visit to Haiti, my third trip to the island nation in six months, provided an answer.  I encountered this child (photo) in a place called Jerusalem...a barren, waterless home to some 200 families...where she stood in the midday heat, observing me and other visitors.  I could not take my eyes away, could not forget, have not forgotten her.





Why should she suffer deprivation because of the chance of birth, because her forebears were brought centuries ago, against their will, to a small island that can barely sustain life for their descendants?  Haiti's woes are almost incomprehensible and the best ways forward much debated.  It's all too complex for me, but I can help this child and her playmates by helping their mothers earn some income.  They want to work!  But jobs in Haiti are very hard to come by, even for those privileged to obtain a formal education.

Women at Jerusalem learn about potential income-generating projects

                                               

Women beginning batik process in Gonaives, Haiti

The women I've worked with in Gonaives since 2006, through the Episcopal Church, are now creating large pieces of batik that can be used by the women in nearby Jerusalem to make marketable items such as pajama pants (look out, Old Navy stores!).  Debbie Couri-D'Amico, who initiated Women of Milot, is expanding her income-generating efforts with women in Gonaives, and we will work together.

Debbie observes the batik process…the dye washed out of the cloth because it was not 100% cotton (my error in not testing, with a match, the fabric I purchased in Ecuador!)

Kathy Brooks (far left) talks with women of Haitian Batik Project about collaborating with her Gonaives initiative 2nd Story Goods, which also helps generate income for Haitians

My favorite room at Matthew 25

My trips to Haiti now begin and end at Matthew 25 House in Port-au-Prince, a place that lives up to its pledge to offer "warm hospitality, comfort, and assistance to those involved in missionary and humanitarian organizations."  I've made many fruitful connections at Matthew 25, among them a friendship with Lamothe Lormier, country liaison for Gift of Water, an NGO dedicated to providing clean water for Haitians.  Lamothe, who lives adjacent to the guesthouse, eagerly shares with visitors the relatively simple two bucket filtration and chlorination system he promotes.  We've started working together on a book for those who want to help in Haiti.

Watching a soccer match from the Matthew 25 House rooftop

Journal entry:  April 17, 2014

With Lamothe Lormier, wise friend and clean water guru 

This beautiful reading from Isaiah 61: 1-3 as Easter approaches:

"The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because 

The Lord has anointed me to bring good

tidings to the afflicted:

He has sent me to bind up the broken-

hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison (or eyes)

to those who are bound;

To proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,

and the day of vengeance of our God;

To comfort all who mourn in Zion--

to give them a garland instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

The mantle (garment) of praise instead

of a faint (despairing) spirit;

That they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord, that he may be

glorified."

I think of the women of Gonaives, praying together my last evening at the Episcopal Church, singing and dancing a song about the walls of Jericho coming down…they are like oaks, glorifying God!

Loja Lights...February/March 2014

Loja friends Sandry and David Ludena and children

Bill got to know the Ludenas while I was in Haiti in January.  They worked together with others to help renovate a coffee house named El Sendero (The Path), a ministry of Service in Mission that provides a fun hangout for Loja youth, along with English tutoring and counseling.  And happy surprise...we learned David and Sandry Ludena are friends with Jean Fils Chery, the new priest at the Episcopal parish in Haiti where I work with women through Daughters of the King and the Haitian Batik Project.  Jean, David, and Sandry were fellow students in seminary in Cuba.  It's a joy to know and to help support the Ludenas--Loja lights--in their work with youth.

Jean Fils Chery helps model batik scarves made by some of his parishioners in Gonaives, Haiti

In March we enjoyed Loja's Botanical Gardens, a visit from American friends Robin and Irene, and a trip with the Ludenas around the Loja region.  At the end of the month, we visited Saraguro, a town not far from Loja where the people wear black in memory and mourning of Atahualpa, the Inca ruler killed by the Spanish in 1533.  

Botanical Gardens, Loja

Lunch on our Loja terrace with Robin and Irene

Outing with the Ludenas and extended family 

Another happy surprise in Saraguro...a reunion with Flor Maria Cartuche, leader of La Mega Cooperativa, a group of women who create beautiful beaded jewelry.  They use some of the funds raised since 2010 at the annual Santa Fe International Folk Art Market (where I met Flor in 2012) to support a women's shelter and work against domestic violence in Saraguro.

In Saraguro with Flor (in blue) and members of La Mega Cooperativa

La Mega's beadwork is sold in July at the Santa Fe Folk Art Market

The Internal Journey

I returned from Haiti enthused to help advance a long-standing collaboration on behalf of women's health, but was stymied by an interpersonal roadblock.

Journal entry:  March 2, 2014

Letting go of my need to fix things, make them right, make them work, allows me to be a better listener, encourager, helper.  Thomas A Kempis, in The Imitation of Christ, writes: "No one can hold fast to the true joy if he makes his boast in anything outside me [God]…he will not feel his heart expanding in gladness, but he will feel very conscious of oppression and contraction."  Oppression and contraction are exactly what I've been feeling, so what a release it is to be able to simply boast in God and his ways and mercies, knowing that in spite of our weaknesses he leads us on and gives fruit to labors that honor him.

Loja, Miami, Haiti…January 2014

Loja monument to independence (like Mom!)

During my mother's five weeks in Ecuador we toured Loja by bus, traveled through the Andes to the picturesque town of Zamora, played lots of scrabble, and found molasses to make shoofly pie, a Pennsylvania Dutch heritage favorite.  Mid-January Mom and I flew to Miami.  She went on to Colorado while Sally Lincoln (sallylincoln.com) and I headed to Haiti, where a book was waiting to be written.

Loja has many beautiful parks

We found molasses (melaza) at an animal feed store 

City of Zamora, an hour's drive from Loja

Journal entries

January 10, 2014:  Chomsky Connection

Fellow vacationers in Zamora named their son Noam, his Brazilian grandfather having studied linguistics with Noam Chomsky at Berkeley. I told the family about Chomsky taking time recently for email dialog with my nephew Gabe (21). Young Noam's parents are trying to live communally with some Americans near Cuenca.  They sold all, left France a year ago, and want to be self-sustaining, but said, "We just spend money; we aren't making any so far!"

Young Noam (front right) and family at our Zamora resort

Cascadas on road to Zamora

January 15, 2014:  The Internal Journey

Reading Psalm 27 about how, as we praise and seek God, our heads are lifted up above our enemies...whether internal, external, imagined, or real!  This is why we must carve out time to "behold the beauty of the Lord"…even on the busiest of days.  I must do this while in Haiti to know how to proceed amid many uncertainties.

Connecting with Sally at Miami International Airport

An unexpected invitation to Haiti, with partial funding of expenses, was too good to pass up! When I called Sally in Colorado to suggest a joint trip, I learned she was already booked to fly to Ecuador, where she has a home/studio. But she wanted to paint and I wanted to write about Haitian women, so she rearranged her schedule, repacked, and stored stuff in Miami.







January 19, 2014:  Women of Gonaives

Women batik/students observe as Sally paints in Haiti

En route to Haiti…to capture the essence of my friends in Gonaives…their
Strengths:  fortitude, perseverance, hope, joy in community and simple pleasures
Struggles:  lack of opportunity for income, so poverty of material resources for food, education, health care; perpetual trauma of weather (hurricanes)

Sally and me with my friends/her portrait subjects in Gonaives, Haiti

January 27, 2014  Brenda Euland's If You Want to Write

"The true self is always in motion like music, a river of life, changing, failing, suffering, learning, shining.  That is why you must write freely and make mistakes--in writing or in life--and do not fret about them but pass on and write [and live!] more."


January 27, 2014  Motorbike Adventures

Friend Clibert got us safely to our hotel after ride to the countryside to visit friends in Bayonnais

Sally drawing in Bayonnais, Haiti

I'm on a motorbike again…fourth time this trip on the busy streets of Gonaives, plus yesterday's 40 minute ride over a rugged, rocky road through the countryside to visit friends…me at the back behind Sally who squeezed in behind (our very careful) driver Clibert with Sally's bag of drawing supplies around his neck.  I'll not take that risk again without a helmet and skin guards!

My young driver today is weaving very close to other vehicles and going too fast!  I pull my arms against my side, envisioning elbows scraping on metal.  The vehicles ahead are slowing. "Manifestation"(demonstration), says my driver, as we are mobbed by uniformed students shouting, jumping on top of vehicles...pounding on the roofs.  My heart pounds as I jump off the motorbike and head to a side street. The students are protesting because government school teachers are on strike, not having been paid for months.

In the photo Sally completes her 11th portrait as students mill around Independence Plaza.  This balcony at the Episcopal compound has been a great place to watch street life over the 15 years I've been visiting Haiti.  Gonaive's Catholic cathedral, at right, faces the square where Haiti proclaimed independence from France in 1804.

Second Leaving and "Overcoming Ourselves"…December 2013

Post-Thanksgiving brunch with family at Mom's Colorado City home

Instead of spending 5-6 thousand dollars to import books and household goods into Ecuador, we returned to Colorado for a second round of sorting and letting go, and enjoyed time with family and friends. We left Colorado in a deep freeze, my mother traveling with us for a visit to Ecuador.  There were airport delays, we had to leave baggage behind due to an embargo in Ecuador, we missed our connection to Quito…stress!

Enjoying Colorado sunrise with elk before packing begins

Two vans, Bill's sister, and my sister and her husband got us and baggage to Denver

Journal entries

December 9, 2013

Sushi-fueled brainstorming re: project in Haiti

Between dealing with storage stuff and trips to Books Again and consignment, had good times with [friends, including] Sally Lincoln, Donna and Robert Mack, and Kyle Laws, brainstorming a Haiti trip/book (Sally to paint portraits of women).  Unloaded half of our things from storage, dumped many professional papers, and sorted and consolidated 30 years of stuff...honing down, down to essentials.  Sally and Kyle commiserated with Bill giving up books he's loved for 40 years.  Sally, an English literature major like Bill, keeps her library at 50.


Mother's hands in repose on flight to Miami remind me of what they
have done…changed diapers,

Maitre d at Miami International Airport Hotel

scrubbed floors, baked pies, packed for multiple moves and journeys, typed letters for work and sharing with her beloved parents, siblings, children, and grandchildren, pulled weeds, sewed quilts, driven cars, held babies and books, played pianos and organs, caressed many faces with love.

Mama Esther Engle, seasoned world traveler

Having missed our connection to Ecuador, American Airlines put us up for the night at the Miami airport hotel.  Mom was a great sport about it all, and the Haitian maitre d was wonderful!

Mom and me at hostel near Quito airport; one more leg to Loja

December 24, 2013

Nochebuena (literally good night: Christmas eve) now the stroke of midnight, fresh from lovely Misa de Gallo (mass of the rooster) at cathedral and friendly passing of the peace.  On a philosophical/spiritual high after finishing The Goldfinch…then wrestling with tamarind goo full of seeds and tiny hard bits

Christmas angel's parade on our Loja street

and thinking of how God must stretch us thin to get out all the junk in our lives.

Happy day with Pastora (friend from Cuenca) and mother doing Christmas puzzle while I baked Kris Kringle and then Bill did supper of vegan loaf and mashed potatoes and green beans and pumpkin pie fresh from oven.

Dear Cuenca friend Pastora Prado and Mom with Christmas eve project

The chef at work on Christmas eve dinner

December 30, 2013:  The Internal Journey

"No one has a harder struggle than the man who is striving to overcome himself," wrote Thomas A Kempis, "and it should be our business to overcome ourselves, and every day to get the upper hand over our old nature, and to show some progress and improvement."  I react to Mother's need to be "right" because I have such an enormous need to be right!  God, help me to let this go…to be humble about any knowledge which is "mine" or even spiritual insights.

Nochebuena dinner in our Loja apartment with Pastora and Mom

Loss, Loneliness, and Privilege…November 2013

Loja: mosaic of Simon Bolivar, "El Libertador" 

In a world where millions have left "home" to escape conflict, persecution, and/or famine, I am a privileged traveler.  Our pensions (tied to 34 combined years of teaching in Colorado) enabled us to choose Ecuador, where a low cost of living frees up funds for other uses.  It's been great fun to see new places and make new friends…aspects of the external journey.

Bill at Loja's Casa Sol, our favorite $2.50 almuerzo (lunch) spot

The internal journey, however, has been more difficult…coping, at times, with silence from family and friends, with the lack of purpose that can accompany "retirement," and with a heightened need for emotional support that even the best marriage cannot always sustain!

"In the difficult…journey, the self of the traveler is impoverished and reduced to its essentials," wrote Eric Leeds.  With reduction to essentials came awareness of my need for recognition and response from others, and my attachment to things.


Journal entry:  November 3, 2013

San Sebastian Church, where we worship in Loja

Trading silver for earthenware

Simply patterned earthenware pieces,
imperfect, with unglazed backs, adorn
my rough-hewn pine table in Ecuador.
I've left the ornate family silver behind
in the US; no point having something
so fine that could be stolen, and I want
to live with less if I can finally curb the
will to possess, the tendency to fill spaces.

The emptiness is an adjustment, however,
for not just fewer possessions but
diminished connections and more quiet
define my days.  In this new space there is
room to ponder the exit from a crowded
life that was not life-giving; and perhaps
in the silence I will find my way to a
simpler pattern of existence, grounded in
reflection, consuming less, creating more.



Back to Haiti…and Colorado

In early November Haitian friends emailed: "The Daughters of the King National Assembly is November 22-23 in Port-au-Prince, and we expect you to be there!"  We would be in Miami anyway, en route to Colorado to sort through goods we had decided not to ship to Ecuador, so I flew from Miami to Haiti with my friend Kyle Laws (from Pueblo) for a few days, and then joined Bill in Colorado for Thanksgiving.

During our 45" flight from Loja to Quito, I took this photo of Cotopaxi, the world's highest active volcano (19, 347 ft.).  It also has one of the world's few equatorial glaciers.  100 climbers attempt the summit each weekend.

With Kyle Laws and friends in Port-au-Prince

2nd DOK Haitian National Assembly:  affirming vows to pray, serve, evangelize

The trip to Haiti reconnected me with the women of St. Basile's Episcopal Church in Gonaives.  Together we explored ways to advance an income-generating project started a couple years earlier (Haitian Batik Project). More trips to Haiti were on the horizon.